We are no strangers here at omgblog to the rumors that 'the little skank that shouldn't' that bitch-botch mega whore Barbie has been totes down on her luck recently...first it was reported that she's been living in a two-tone garbage receptacle, then she became so starved of attention and out of her mind that she started just plain prancing around naked, to the point where all her designer -no longer- friends decided to whip some outfits up for her so she wasn't going STARK-IN-THE-PARK .
Well she's also been hanging around with the wrong crowd; reportedly Meow Mix-snatching raccoons, hiphop has-been Roland the Rat, and apparently she owes a lot of money to a dealer by the name of 'Papa Bear', who sent around one of his heavies to rough her up last night:
Caught on camera, this Hairy Mary was seen harassing and cajoling Little B at her front door [a dumpster lid], threatening that he wanted to "chew her plastic ass up" and wear her new shrunken designer Selfridges outfits as paw-mittens !
If that wasn't effed up enough, he then decided to haul that dreamsicle trailer right on out of there with Barbiepoops all inside and screaming her ass off ! There's a rumor that Barbie's trash trailer was renamed The Barbie Barge Boat after being seen floating along the river this morning, with Barbie herself manning ship, screeching "ahoy me-harties" and sloshing back a mickey of cheap spiced rum high out of her Barbie brains !
Looks like Jean-Paul Gaultier is going to have to step in now to design her some naughty nautical looks, and try getting that plastic Lohansbeen in ship-shape before she goes all Goldie Hawn Overboard !
[via papermag]